Desires for Home and Thoughts of the Christmas Season

Christmas is upon us but this time around it seems less real to me.

All I want though is to be with my family and make sure I am there for Krystal.

Her dad is getting brain surgery on Jan 6th and will be in the ICU for a week. This makes me realize the importance of family and the embrace of the time we have with them.

When I say family, I mean our family in Christ. Our time is so short and human life is so fragile I think we should spend less energy on things that divide and rather unify together and bring good to the world in the areas of social justice that Jesus talked about.

[i]Blogging note: I don't have large words and intensely philosophical ways to explain my thoughts like most "emergent" bloggers that I read, not that that is a bad thing. I just aim to say what I want to say in a way that I can say it.[/i]

I find it hard for me to stick to these things that I am talking about and I find it easier to look forward to the materialism that traditionally comes with Christmas. My mom has a good paying job for the first time in her life and I know that will have an effect on Christmas and I think apart of me is anticipating that. I am disgusted by that part of me. Because an even larger part of me loves the relational part of Christmas even more!

The past 2 years my family has gotten Krystal more gifts than me, which is the best gift they could give to me, seriously. That means the love her and accept her as one of the family. Not that their love is being measured in material possessions, rather my family is letting her be a part of our main Christmas tradition that is for our immediate family only...that means she is family which I love!
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On a different note, I got my research grant(don't know if I have written about this or not...) which means I will be doing research on the Emergent movement and how it constructs its identity based on web submissions. A part of our research though will involve heading to Minneapolis and doing sit down interviews though which I am very excited about because of the potential for research and my own personal gain. I don't have much experience with this bodies of believers that I seem to want to identify with and this will be an excellent opportunity to get to know them!

So that is cool...
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Musically I find myself drawn more towards bluegrass and folk as of late. I really think that I feel God moving in the notes. You can feel the passion and the expression behind the notes, and because I am relational, I feel God through that persons passion. This is why I want to get back into my Viola.
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Enough for tangents...I think I am ready for bed now.

I will stand up now...

and I will not step down.

I was doing my morning music devotion and I heard Stand Up by Everyday Sunday.

This reminded me of the whole start of this transformation. The reason I am more peaceful, more loving, and just more of somebody that I love and somebody that loves God in a different and radical way.

I worked at a "liberal" Lutheran Bible Camp, Camp Luther Crest. We sang this song for the staff musical. The song isn't important but the memories and the significance of it being the catalyst for the change in my life that is now!

I had a huge transformation from a "conservative" Christian who looked for fights with anybody on any silly little issue to, well...this!

You can swing by the blog I made while I was there to see the intense transformation I went!

http://lcbcsummer.blogspot.com/

Yearn

"I want to yearn for you. I want to burn with passion over you."

-Yearn by Shane and Shane

This is the line that I want to make my prayer.

I hear these words as I do my morning meditation on God while listening to music and it brings a tear to my eye because of how accurate it is.

Sometimes I am a bit off and that is exactly what I need to get back on. To yearn and burn with passion. So this is what I want.

On a random note:

I have my first office hour today, which means I get to sit in a room and wait for students to come to me if they have a question or something.

HAH, who would give me an office?