Something New

Last night I had a realization.

Sometimes it frightens me how much I know but I am not sure if I believe. I do almost nothing without being conscious of it and thus I am aware of the effects my actions have on others around me.

Well, one thing that drives me crazy is when people, including myself, just spout lines that everybody says all the time. Like, "God, we need you here right now, please heal us and just send your power into this place." Now, if you pray that and mean it, cool! But I hear it so often, I wonder if people just say it because they hear other people say it and know that is what they are "supposed" to say. This is what drives me up the wall because I know all the things I'm supposed to say/do but sometimes I don't know what I believe.

What I realized is this:
Uncertainty about something indicates my belief in something. I know what I believe with regards to certain theologies and such but if we take abortion as an example. If I say I am not sure that God is pro-choice or pro-life, then that means I don't have any knee jerk arguments, points, or analogies and this is GREAT for me. I don't know which means I can know that when I think and what I feel about this subject are real and not just scripted and forces actions.

Yeah, I don't know something therefore I believe it? Talk about an odd almost contradiction. This is something new for me. I think it is great that it is almost a contradiction, I think many things within Christianity are apparent contradictions but when we look deeper they are not.

This is a new step for me in this new stage of life.

I am excited to see all He has in store for me.

Today shall be a good day.